MADNESS: A Pokemon Black 2 Nuzlocke

[Kraith the Hipster]

HIYA PEEPS. So, this here's my first Storylocke, and, to cut quickly to the chase (which is fortunately not cutting quickly the cheese; that would end poorly), it is a Black 2 Nuzlocke, run through a Randomizer. Random starter, random wild Pokémon, random move compatibility, random Pokémon typing! TRUE. TOTAL. MADNESS. HERE'S THE ROOLZ.

-> If it faints, it DIES. A PAINFUL, TERRIBLE, AWFUL DEATH OF DEAD. 8D
-> I MUST catch the first Pokémon I see on any route, that is not a duplicate!
-> EXCEPTION: I can opt to catch any Pokémon I haven't caught before, but only on routes that I've been through before, after beating the gym in the town/city after said route.
-> EXCEPTION: If the Pokémon is a Magikarp, I MUST catch it, no matter what, so long as I have a Pokeball. Including my Master Ball.
-> I am not allowed to evolve my Magikarps.
-> I must name each Pokémon, and they must all have epic names. Except Magikarp, which must be named after historical figures of infamy.

Will post Bios and such below, when time, and comment below, if you feel like it. Or not. That is, if you don't feel like it. YOU MUST COMMENT. ...Ahem... And, without further ado, I bring to you...

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I woke up one fateful morning, wielding the dreams and aspirations of nearly every child in the world; I wished to become a Pokémon trainer! And that day was the day my dreams would come to fruition. I arose from my slumber, messy brown hair dangling down over my face. Not bothering yet to get dressed, I had a simple breakfast, a bowl of grits and a few slices of bacon, a match clearly determined to be the ambrosia of angels, as it was quite the wonderful and superior combination. Downing a glass of cranberry juice, the finest of the flavors, I snatched up a jacket and headed out the door, on my way to school. On the way, however, Professor Juniper, quite surprisingly, considering she had a class to teach, approached. “Hello! You must be…?” Not to be rude, I smiled with a quick wave and introduced myself, as I hadn’t really spoken with her before. She was, however, the top authority on Pokémon in the Unova region, so I could say with fair certainty I knew her better than she knew me, particularly given she is a teacher at my school. “Batman,” I replied.

Batman… It was certainly an odd name, particularly so for one of the female gender. Nobody really cared to tease me about it, however, probably simply due to the fact that hey; I had to be Batman for a reason, right? No sane parent would name their child Batman, would they? Nope. Except for mine, of course… But we’re on a tangent now, sorry. Anyways, the Professor smiled and continued on, summarizing the world of Pokémon; everything from the many species that exist to the often untold, yet quite scary, fact of the matter that Pokémon can potentially be killed in battle, rather than merely fainting. It was terrifying, really, but it was the price one had to pay for the positive aspects of training Pokémon; their unconditional love and regard, for example. There was a reason they were willing to die for their trainer, should they have need to. Though personally, I’d hoped to never have to see a Pokémon of my own perish.

“So, if you don’t mind my asking, you wouldn’t happen to know any Pokémon trainers, would you?”

“Well, my mother was a Pokémon trainer, as well as my father.”

“Yes, I thought I recognized you; you look just like your mother!”

I scratched the back of neck, somewhat awkwardly smiling. Eh… Not really… I don’t look like either of my parents that much… But no matter, I accepted the compliment, as it was intended, anyways. “Oh, well thank you. Hmm… There’s also my friend, Satan.”

“…What.”

“No, no, not like that!! His parents are uh… Well, how to put this… Strange. He’s really a nice guy, he’s just got erm… Well, an interesting family.” Nice way of putting it. Legitimately? They’re a bunch of weirdoes.

“Ahh… Kay. Well, I think that’s about it. Seeya, Batman. Expect a surprise~”

I had no idea what she meant at the time when she just walked off, leaving me confused, and wondering what the surprise was, but later on, would find out it was… Well, it was actually pretty freakin’ awesome.

As I got home from school that day, I went into my room with a bag of Doritos and went to watch some TV for a little while. During a rerun of the original Digimon series, my mom called me into the living room. After a short series of questions, which were about as puzzling as Juniper’s, she told me that I was about to receive a Pokédex and a Pokémon of my very own. I was wide-eyed, overwhelmed with excitement! I’d waited my whole life for this moment, and now, at the age of sixteen, I was finally about to start my journey to become the Champion of the Pokémon League! “Love you mom, bye!” I shouted behind me as I dashed out, racing through the streets to find Bianca, the girl who had my tools to become a Pokémon trainer. But before I could find her, I nearly slammed straight into Satan. Yes, yes, my friend, not the devil! “Hiya Sate! What’cha up to?”

“Hi Batman!” He and his sister stood in front of me, the latter being about half his height, and half his age. It so wasn’t fair that he was older than me… Two years, big deal! Psh. But he was fun to hang out with; had an ego, for sure, especially since he’d gotten his first Pokémon! Nonetheless, we were never bored, so long as we were hanging out together. “Not much,” he said. “Mostly being bored out of my brains. You got a Pokémon yet? I’m the only trainer in the whole town! So lame.” I laughed at his comment; for all the bragging he did, he amounted to essentially a teenaged Youngster Joey, with nobody to obsessively call, or try to battle.

“Dunno why you don’t just leave home on an adventure already! Totally could have~”

“Ahh, shut up, you.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, and laughed. “You look adorable when you’re mad~ And anyways, to answer your previous question, yep! I’m heading to get my Pokémon right now, actually.” His sister, somewhat worried-sounding, spoke up, to our surprise, given her silence the whole conversation. “Batman, when you get your Pokémon, make sure to take good care of it…” After a moment, pondering the meaning of her words, or rather, why she brought them up, I leaned down, put a hand on her shoulder, and smiled. “Don’t you worry! Of course I’ll take good care of it. I’ll bring it to see you every day, too!” She smiled a bit, and, glad to see I’d brightened her previously somewhat solemn expression, I tussled her hair and stood straight again.

Satan glanced at his watch, before looking to his sister. “Okay, kiddo, time for your ballet classes; head on home, and tell mom I’ll be back later. Gonna go with Batman to get her Pokémon!” I looked at him, eyebrow raised, trying my hardest not to laugh. “Are you, now? When did I invite you along?~”

“Um, the day you were BORN, obviously!”

“Pfffffft, okay, sure.”

“Lead the way, Gotham’s best~”

“With pleasure, you fiddling fail!”

And so we set off; we searched throughout the town, but didn’t have to search long; many tourists and visitors were attracted to Aspertia Tower, for its wonderful view, and by chance, it seemed that Bianca was at the top. Striding over to her, I tapped on her shoulder once, then again, finally getting her attention on the third try. “Hmm…? Oh! Hello! Say, you wouldn’t happen to know anyone by the name of Batman, would you? Not the superhero, but a kid about your age here. Professor Juniper sent me to find him!” Yep, had to be the same person! Green hat, blonde hair, worked for the professor.

“Yes ma’am; that’s me, actually.”

“Really? Huh… Was expecting a boy…”

I chuckled, grinning.  “So were my parents, apparently, when they named me.”

She laughed as well. “Ahh, okay, well anyways, would you like to help us complete the Pokédex for Unova?”

“Would I!? Of course I would!”

“Great! It’s a lot of fun, trust me. Okay, now that’s out of the way, I have three very special Pokémon with me. I’d like for you to choose one to be your partner. Choose wisely, now.” This was it. The moment of truth. Which Pokémon was I going to be with. Each ball had a name and type inscribed on it. Vespiquin, the Queen Bee Pokémon… Bug type. Rapidash, the Fire Horse… Fire type, obviously. And… Reshiram. What. How in the… WHO WOULD GIVE A RESHIRAM TO A STARTING TRAINER!? ARE THEY MAD!? Well… Dragon Type. I couldn’t really refuse it. I mean, come on. How often can you say “Hey, check out this sweet level 5 Reshiram, bro!” Like, never.

“Uhh… This one, I suppose.” Grabbing the ball, I felt a surge of power race through my veins, as if the sheer act of holding the Pokémon contained within made me more powerful, infinitely stronger, more ready to take on any obstacle in my way. It felt amazing… I had a Pokémon! I’d have been happy with a Magikarp, it didn’t even matter that it was a freakin’ Reshiram in the ball right now.

“Hmmm… I think I’ll call him… Carl.” Yes. I did name a Reshiram Carl. You mad, bro? I bet you are. Anyways, on with the show. Bianca didn’t seem too surprised she had a Reshiram in the bag (made you wonder where Juniper got it…) but instead pulled out a red rectangular device, handing it to me. “This is a Pokédex! But I’m sure you knew that. You should use it to track the Pokémon you’ve seen!”

“Thank you so much, Bianca! I’ll be sure to do that!”

I walked away, waving bye to her, to go talk to Satan about my new Pokémon; he’d surely find it awesome. Spotting me as I stepped down the stairs, he raced up to meet me halfway. “Hey, how’d it go? What Pokémon did you get, is that a Pokede-“

“Yikes, slow down, slow down! You’ll never even believe what Pokémon I got, it went well, and yes, this is a Pokédex.” He seemed a little mystified by the first question, but shrugged it off his mind with a blink, before grinning again. “Whatever it is, raise it right, now! I mean, I know my sister already told you that, but still. Besides, it has to be raised right to beat me!”

“Oh yeah? I bet I could beat you right now!”

“Doubt it!”

“I think you two should totally battle!” Bianca had apparently overheard and headed towards us. “It should be loads of fun!”

“…You sure? I mean… My starter’s kinda hu-“

“I choose you, Rapidash!”

“…Carl, you’re up. Go easy on him…”


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As Rapidash was released from its ball onto the tower, its vibrantly bright mane of flames heated the very skies themselves; the clouds overhead dissipated, much to the chagrin of any nearby farmers, expecting rain. C’est la vie? The fiery horse neighed in anticipation as it brushed a hoof against the ground, nearly scorching the steel tiles we stood on as it did so. It was a majestic being, for sure. As ws Carl…

Throwing the pokeball forth was certainly exhilarating, yes, but to see Carl explode from the ball, appearing OVERHEAD, flying like a true dragon- far moreso. It was breathtaking, as it gave a fierce battle cry. And this… This was but an infant? A basic starter Pokémon!? “Rapidash, use blaze kick!” I had expected to see the flamed horse fire off a devastating kick to Carl, but was surprised when, possibly on its own instincts, Carl used twister. Instead of uttering an attack, I instead screamed, “No, Carl, don’t kill him!” It was barely registered by the dragon, but it was enough, as the funneling winds of draconic fury managed to avoid hitting Rapidash, directly. Nonetheless, the Pokémon had been struck by the powerful attack. It was at this time that Satan realized exactly what he was up against; one of the two legendary kings of Unova, the white dragon of all that is good and just. He stood no chance. But the horse was resilient.

It charged forward, now rather angered by the fact it, a rather fast Pokémon amongst its own kind, renowned as fast Pokémon to begin with, had been hit first. He always got in the first hit… A burning hoof rose as, to everyone’s astonishment, Rapidash leapt agilely in the air and landed the blow squarely to Carl’s chest. How…? It didn’t quite matter, as it was, though, considering Carl was quite firmly built against such fire-type attacks, as a Dragon-type, mightiest of them all. He didn’t like it, though; not one bit.

Enraged by the attack, Carl exploded into a fierce outrage, roaring a horrendous roar, as townspeople, even far below, where the battle should not have been audible, were becoming increasingly more worried. In an outrage, he struck out against Rapidash, as all either myself or Satan could do was simply watch in awestruck horror. His Pokémon, however much weaker and smaller, was quite durable, however. It wouldn’t go down without a fight. Even as it took the full brunt of the outrage, it spat hot blazing flames from its equine maw, spraying the dragon with its hottest fires in a blast of energy. A powerful attack, truly displaying the strength of his Pokémon. And yet, even still, it bore no results; it was simply too weak against a legend as this, and its type of attacks did not help the matter. Carl, still in quite a rage, slammed into it once more, not seeing an end to his outrage any time soon. As Rapidash fainted, Carl flew in fast for a final crushing blow…

Our feet moved faster than we could realize they were moving at all, as Satan flung himself over his poor defenseless Pokémon, myself standing, arms spread, between the fierce beast’s attack and the fainted fire-type. “CARL, RETURN!” I heard myself shout, except I didn’t. And just as he seemed intent on slaying the three of us together, he glowed bright red, flying back into my Pokeball. As I trembled in fear, I heard one last thing, in a low and terrifying voice, like that of the monster inside your closet. A dreadful rumbling like thunder, or a war drum… “Very well, trainer… You are a bold one.” It couldn’t have been Reshiram… Pokémon don’t talk. A hallucination, most likely… But still…

I walked quickly towards my friend as he returned his Pokémon to its ball, to rest easily. The two seemed not to like each other… Not good. But not of immediate concern. “Sate, I am SO, so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ He gave a sad smile, shaking his head. “No, no, it’s fine. I was the one who challenged you, if anything it’s my fault; it was a reckless mistake… I won’t let it happen again! We’ll just have to get stronger! Together, right Batman?” After a moment, I blinked. Then smiled. “Right. Together.”

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After the battle, Satan went off to go do something, and Bianca took me to the Pokémon Center. I’d once volunteered here, to help out the nurse… It was unsettling to say the least… But I could look past the somewhat mechanical way the nurses acted when not dealing with trainers… Carl was healed properly, and Bianca ran off, telling me to follow, so I could learn to catch Pokémon; not like I didn’t already know or anything, of course, but still. It was a nice gesture. And as I got to the gates leading onto the route she’d ran to, the guard stopped me, and I was finally proud to say that I did have a Pokémon with me. With Carl by my side, nothing could stop me! I was on my way to being a Pokémon Master.

She handed me a potion, wishing me well on my journey, as I scurried out of the gateway building. “Thank you, ma’am! Next time you see me, I’ll have my first gym badge!” Laughing with glee, I stepped out and stared around at the majesty before me; nature at its finest… We didn’t have that back home, with everything so urbanized… It was magical. I was quite rapt by the beauty of it all, in fact, such that I completely missed the lesson Bianca gave before giving me directions to Floccesy, and wishing me luck. It’s fine, I knew how to catch Pokémon anyways.

And I had just the opportunity, as I strode through the grass on the way! As I walked, I chanced upon a Kabuto crawling around on a log. Kabuto… That was the dome fossil Pokémon, right? An interesting one, to say the least! As I went in for a closer look, though, it spotted me with bright red eyes, and I froze for a moment, before quickly throwing Carl out. “Carl, I choose you! You’re mine, Kabuto!~” With a  grin on my face, I knew it’d be an easy enough challenge. “Go easy on him, now. I want to catch him, not cook him…” Remembering Carl’s last battle, eh… This may not end so well… Ah, the face I made as Carl, again unordered, used twister, wrapping the poor rock-type into a tornado, briefly, before flinging him back down. “I do what I want, human.” Okay… That was definitely creepy. And definitely Carl… “You can talk?”

“No. No I can’t, you infantile simpleton.”

“Erm… Well, okay. Let’s just catch this little guy and be done with it, okay?”

“As you wish.”

Although I, PERSONALLY, didn’t like that sound of that affirmation, he did indeed follow orders. That was always a positive, aye? And it did work; the Kabuto survived, and retaliated with covet, by erm… well, I can’t see how a Kabuto could be flirty at all, but eh… Okay. Why not? Seeing he wasn’t quite finished, I had Carl use Twister again, fearing that Outrage would only do harm to the thing, as it used Covet once more. Now weakened, I threw a Pokeball at it, with the time just right. Shook once to the left.

Once to the right.

Once to the left…

Aaaannnnndddd… Failure.

Right at the LAST second, the darned thing broke loose! A rumbling roar emerged from Carl; he seemed to be laughing at my incompetence… “Why you little… GET INTO THAT POKEBALL THIS INSTANT!” And so I tossed another, as he coveted once more. It broke free again… And in a change of pace, used rock tomb; it seemed that it had gotten serious, smashing into Carl with boulders. Angered, I slung another ball at it; determined to catch, not kill it. TEMPTED. But wouldn’t do so. It coveted again. Flirty little twat. The next attempt resulted in the third tilt of the ball, but failed, as it used rock tomb again. It was supereffective… Not even Carl could take too many hits like that; this was getting serious. One more should do the trick, buuuuuuut. It didn’t. Annoying… It used rock tomb again, landing Carl into critical condition. I had a potion, but that was about it… Had to use it. Threw two more pokeballs, both unsuccessful, as it rock tombed a few more times. Seems it had long finished coveting, and wanted to play hardball… It was down to this… All or nothing; if this ball got it, it was a victory. If not, we had to flee; Carl was weakened again, by the constant stream of rocks slamming into his head.

Shook once… Twice… Thrice… I bit my nails in anticipation, breaking one, actually. But my eyes widened in elation as the ball flickered. YES! Kabuto was caught! Quickly I grabbed the ball and let him out. Not expecting the following earful.

“AUGH, SACRE BLEU, ZIS WILL NOT DO, NON, NON, NON, NON, NOOOOON! Zat ball, ze one you caught me in, throw it away, away with it, phooey! It is WORTHLESS. I, Francois, demand a SUITABLE LUXRY BALL!”

“…Really.” I was quick to have him return, alongside Carl. All that… For THAT!? Well, for an odd one, he WAS a Pokémon… Her first one she’d ever caught!

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As I was leaving the route where I’d gotten Francois, I heard a voice speak, calling out to me. That was… Well, pretty weird. Who would want to talk to me…? Out here…? Creepy. “Yeah?” I asked, turning to face the voice. I had to look up, though, as he stood high atop a cliff. “Hello trainer; my name is Alder.” Alder… Seemed famili- WAIT. He was… He was the Pokémon champion, sweet mother of Mew, what was he doing here!? As the fiery haired man jumped down from the cliff (!?!?), he spoke to me, calmly and soothingly telling me about how humans and Pokémon work together in harmony and such. WELL, USUALLY. As was fate, I got stuck with a whiny Frenchman and a pompous Pokegod.

“So, tell me; what is your name?”

“Uh, Batman, Mr. Alder, sir-“

“Please, just Alder, if you don’t mind, haha! Nice to finally meet you, Batman. I heard it’s nice in Aspertia City this time of year.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s usually pretty- wait, what.” Finally meet me…? And he knew where I lived!? Creepy. “Umm, how do you know who I a-“

But of course, I was cut short as he started walking around me, looking me up and down from all angles. ERM. MORE CREEPY. PEDO ALERT, PEDO ALER- “You’re Reshiram is a fine-looking Pokémon!” Ohh… He was looking at Carl. “But you still aren’t quite a seasoned trainer, despite your luck of the draw. Come with me, I’ll train you!” Ahhh… Bad feeling about this.

“Erm… Sure? I guess?” And I followed. Bad idea or not, it was an adventure. As I followed him, I noticed it was raining. Some would try to avoid the rain, but I’ve always liked it. Dunno why. Didn’t seem to bother Alder either, as he just casually strolled along. As we reached his house, however, I did manage to recall something I was supposed to do… OH. I was supposed to meet up with Satan! “Umm, excuse me Alder,” I politely interjected as he paused in his speaking, describing what I would be doing, as far as training went. “I have to go find my friend, sorry; I’ll be back of course! Have you seen which way he may have went?”

“Riding a Rapidash?”

“That’s him! Okay, thank you! Be back!” And so I left, headed forwards to find him. As I ran, though, I came upon a bridge, and saw a guy standing there, apparently watching those that crossed. What an odd hobby. I attempted to move past him, but it didn’t work, as he just moved to block my way. “You can tell how much an opponent wants to fight by looking into his or her eyes, don’t you think!?”

“…Not really.”

“LET’S BATTLE. 8D”

“…Do I have to?”

“Hellz yeah!”

“…Fine, let’s just get this over with, kid.” Annoying brats these days… Who needs’em?

The guy, apparently named Crystal(!?) took a readied stance, as I boredly stared at him. He was a chump. Not even worth the experience my Pokémon could get from him. Meh.

“Go, I choose you, Bronzor!” Oh. Well he DID have some nice Pokémon, it seemed. “Carl, I choose you.” Let’s crush them.

The metallic disc… Thing. Made a beeping noise as it was released. At two feet tall, it paled in comparison to Carl, released alongside a mighty draconic war cry. Seriously, this starter? Best starter. He didn’t like the Bronzor, which seemed to mock its intelligence through mere presence alone. Outrageous! And so he did. It nearly polished off the steel plate in an instant, until it followed up with its own attack; a critical hit, by the looks of it, but it only managed to further enrage the beast. Not very effective at all… Outrage one more time, and… Oh no…

I’d forgotten just how powerful Carl was, for just an instant there, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! The poor kid tried a few times to return Bronzor to his pokeball, but… No avail. He tried picking him up, but the disc didn’t seem responsive, even for a mechanical Pokémon like itself. It was… It was dead… I stepped closer, about to console the kid, but… I know it was wrong, I know it was awful thing to do, but I turned and ran across the bridge, praying I’d never have to see him again. Eyes watering, I sat under a tree and tried to calm down. I’d have to be more careful. Far more careful. It’s just so… No… Can’t let a setback like that, even so early on, be an obstacle. It was a mistake. A terrible, terrible, awful mistake and I’d have mourned the loss right there with his trainer, had I found anything to say, had my mouth not dried up like a hot desert.

I soon happened by another patch of grass, and within it, stumbled onto a Baltoy. Crap… Those things were known for self-destructing, much like Geodude, and I didn’t want to suffer the ironic fate of the trainer whose poor Pokémon I’d just killed; still had to get used to that thought, as if I ever could. Wrily, I cast a Pokeball, as it spun closer. “Carl. You’re up.” As Carl materialized, it fired an electro ball at us. Okay, that was one attack. Could have another. “Outrage!” With a nod, Carl went on a rampage, all centered on that one Pokémon. It was a one-hit knock out. Couldn’t catch it, but it made good experience, for sure, and it was better safe than sorry anyways.

And not long after, a Salamence was flying overhead, saw the battle, and dropped down on us. Given my Pokémon were tired, it’d be better to fight it, rather than catch it; I sent out Francois. “Alright, French Fries-“

“FOOL. CALL ME FRAWNSH FRIES ONE MORE TIME, AND I WILL PERSONALLY ZLAP ZE ZMILE OFF YOUR FACE!”

“- use Rock Tomb!” And immediately, the dragon launched an ExtremeSpeed with deadly vengeance for the Baltoy it likely never knew. Oddly enough, it didn’t penetrate the thick hide of Francois at all, as the Kabuto made it rain boulders. It missed, and missed again, as the dragon used comet punch, hitting five times, with minimal effect. Francois then used covet…

Which entailed the Kabuto wiggling its backside (hardly noticeable from the front, comically) and saying “Ooh, you like that, don’t you, onhonhon, you love me, Zalamence, baby~” Erm… Deeply. Deeply. DEEPLY. Disturbing. But effective somehow; critical hit. A second covet later, the fiend used Dual Chop, which… Wasn’t good. One more covet should do the trick, though.

[Kraith the Hipster]

TRAINER BIOS
- BATMAN - TBA
- SATAN - TBA

POKEMON BIOS

- CARL - TBA
- FRANCOIS - TBA

CURRENT PARTY

- CARL - lvl 7 - Reshiram
TYPE: Dragon/Fire
MOVESET: Twister, Outrage
- FRANCOIS - lvl 5 - Kabuto
TYPE: Rock/Water
MOVESET: Covet, Rock Tomb
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-
-
-

BOXED
NA

THE SHADOW REALM

NA

BADGES AND STUFF

Nothiiiiiiiiing.