Mr. Black, Gotta add some to the title.

[Mr. Black]

DOSSIER: CIVILIAN

 
Oh, oh no, go right ahead. It's not like I totally called dibs on bad cop in the car... So what If I still technically get to be bad cop?! If you are worse cop I don't get to pistol whip anyone! It's in the handbook!”

BASIC DETAILS

NAME:
There is not document... or memory of what Mr. Black's real name was, though he has oodles of aliases to make up for it.

AGE:
30 or 40... Maybe?

GENDER:
So Manly that he doesn't even care that he looks a little girly.

NATIONALITY:
Definitely white, though, not much more is clear.

BIRTHPLACE:
Claims to have been raised by Dingos in the Australian Outback.

BIRTHDATE:
He says it's Shuthtefuckuptober third.

PICTURE:

Spoiler:

*********

PERSONAL DETAILS

DESCRIPTION:
Narrowing down exactly what Black looks like can be a real hassle as he is nearly always in some kind of a disguise. He will go to a great length to make himself a different person including dying his teeth or scarring himself if necessary. That being said everyone who sees Black more than once gets a strange sort of deja vu about him. It is in Black's interest to make sure no one recognizes him but they feel like they've met him before, and often enough they have. That which Black not change without plastic surgery, something he will never get because it's cheating, are somewhat signature. Black has a face made for sneering. An expression which he wears almost all the time, as long as he is serious and focused that is. He has sharp facial features that seem to set the tone for his whole body. Black keep himself in excellent shape and yet he still has a sort of bony quality about, like a trout. Black's hair is quite the opposite of his name. His natural hair color and preferred hair color is a bright and golden blond that is sort naturally swoopy. He tends to change his hair often due it's signature swoopy nature. If Black could pick and stick with an outfit he wouldn't, Though he does love scarves and tries to incorporate one into nearly ever disguise.

PERSONALITY:
THE SPY: Perhaps Black's primary mode of thought he is first and foremost a spy. Because of that he follows the rules of the spy: 1 Always plan to kill everyone you meet. 2 Never kill anyone you do not have to. 3 Never tell people anything they do not already know. 4 Live to fight another day. 5 Assets are expendable. Finally, be James Fucking Bond. The last rule isn't really official but Black leads his life by that example. Black's main goal in life to learn what he can and apply it for his own gain or the benefit of whatever he is working towards. Nothing is forbidden. Nothing. As long as it gets the job done then it is worth it.
The Assassin: A spy is not an assassin. A spy tries to learn things and fight with their mind. An assassin is just another name for a murderer. Black as an assassin is a scary thing to experience. He still follows the normal rules of the spy and thus executes his targets with the highest level of efficiency he can. This mind set is the same one Black uses in open combat. he does not strike unless he knows he can hit and does not move unless he has to. Nothing but exactly what is needed is expended. Black often treats his assess this way. Keeping them in the dark and confused for as long as possible. never letting them know what is really behind the curtain.
The Psychopath: This is the one part of Black's mind that he can not understand. this part of him has no rules. it has no known triggers. it just is. It shows itself now and then, sometimes with no reason. Black will occasionally become highly erratic and strange. this normally ends in wanton violence which is highly uncharacteristic of the normally efficient spy. This portion of Black's personality is perhaps what makes him so enigmatic and confusing.  

Black is a compulsive asshole, or so it would seem. In truth he is always testing people. Prodding them for weaknesses and tells. He pushes people's buttons, making each word a test and trail for his social opponents. Not to mention, everyone is a social opponent. Every word is a small move in a chess game. Each insult is a check or a mate. Nothing in this world is given to you on a silver platter and if it was given then it was a trap or a double edged sword. Everything in this life has a catch, you just need to look for it.

HISTORY:
Contained is the transcribed log of the only known interview with the so-called Mr. Black. This text document was mailed to FBI field office in San Antonio. The sender was never found, neither was the reporter who conducted the interview. It is as follows.

[Mr. Black enters the room and walks over to the pitcher of water. He picks up the pitcher]
Mr. Black: Want a glass tiny?
Reporter:..Ummm, me? um, no. No thank you. [Reporter coughs]
[Mr. Black pours himself a cup of water and then pours a cup for the reporter. He then walks over to the table and sits down.]
Mr. Black: here you go kid. [Mr. Black sets the cup  down in front of the reporter] drink it up. Water's good for you.
Reporter: Oh, ummmm, thank you... So-
Mr. Black: Let's get something straight here.... You aren't here to ask me questions. I'm here to talk. Let's try to remember who called whom here.
[Mr. Black drinks water]
Reporter: uhhmmm[Clears throat] So then.. what did you want to talk about?
Mr. Black: Now you are catching on. First thing is first. Lets get our names out there. [Mr. Black extends his hand]
Reporter: Oh, ummm. I'm Sam. [The two shake hands]
Mr. Black: Great to meet'cha Sam. Now we are starting to get somewhere and be friendly.
Reporter: Yeah, uhh, what should I call you?
[Mr. Black chuckles]
Mr. Black: Lets just go with Black. That will work just fine.
Sam: Uhh, okay..... Black..... So, what did you want to say?
Black: What I want to say is exactly what you'd expect. I'm going to give you information that you can't get anywhere else. I'm going to tell you things that will get you killed in some countries.
[Sam is silent for 26 seconds]
Sam: Okay. ummmm, what do you do?
Black: Have you ever seen starsky and Hutch? .....Yeah? Well, it's like that but mix it with Lost, Alias, The Simpsons, Stargate SG-1, and Lethal Weapon 3. Only with more sitting around doing nothing.
Sam: That sound ummm, confusing.
Black: It can be.
[Black drinks water]
Sam: [Puts recorder down] So how do I know you are who you claim you are?
Black: You want proof?
Sam: ummm, yeah.
Black: Okay, well[The following statement has been redacted due to violating sixteen international security guide lines]
Sam: [Is silent for fifteen seconds] How in the fuck do you know that?
Black: you just need to ask the right people kid. The right people and in the right way.... Sometimes I ask pretty hard.
Sam: Oh, ummm, well, you seem like you do a lot. Do you work alone?
Black: No I do not, or, more over, I DID not. Now I do.
Sam: What happened? Ummmm, why do you work alone now?
Black: Sometimes shit happens kid. Like sometimes you thought everything was thought out and it bites you in the ass..... That's exactly what happened to us. My parner and I over looked something and got fucked up.
Sam: Umm, what happened?
Black: I'm not here to talk about Rio. Just accept that shit went down and now I'm alone in the biz. You follow?
[There is a seven second pause where Sam drinks from the water cup he did not ask for]
Sam: I got it... So then, umm, what have you been doing?
Black: I've been busy as all hell kiddo. I've been learning things, things I shouldn't know. [Black makes a tongue click sound and winks] Shit, some of this stuff nobody should know. But it was all there. Just waiting to be found out. Hiding plain sight.
Sam: Um, what did you find out?
Black: I found the demons that hide everywhere. Demons and angels all around us boy. You take that however you want.
[Sam seems to be shifting his weight in his chair]
Sam: Demons and angels?
Black: Yeah.
Sam:.... What do you-
Black: I said, take it however you want. I'm not going into anymore detail.
[there is not talking for 23 seconds. The only sound is the light breathing of Sam and Black drinking from his water]
Black: Now I'm doing something else.... Well, the same thing only in a different capacity, and for a different employer. Actually got myself hired by some excellently influential people.
Sam: Still doing spy work?
Black: What other kind of work is there?
Sam: You could be a reporter. [Sam Chuckles]
Black: I would make a great reporter wouldn't I? With all my contacts. hmmmmm.
Sam:Ummm, make sure no one knows I suggested that. I don't want to get into any more trouble.
[Black laughs]
Black: Okay kid. Just for you, I won't be a reporter. Though I am thinking about getting into the music industry. I think I'd be a great agent.
Sam: God help the record labels.
[Both parties share a laugh]
Sam: Do you have any idea who you might, ummm, work with?
Black: I have this nice PYT that is involved loosely with my new employers. I think she does some really interesting things with her voice. I'll likely approach her. I don' think she will be able to resist my charms.
[Audio fades into static as the recording seems to end.]
[Four minutes and ten seconds later the recording continues]
Black: So, then i joined the NKA to see what all the hype was. I mean everybody was scared of these guys.
Sam: Yeah, uhh, how did you get away with that?
Black: Oh, it wasn't that hard. If you have someone to watch out for you and validate your cover infiltration is very simple.
Sam: This other person.... That would be White?
Black: Exactly. We've worked together on nearly everything. We didn't always get along but we did always work together.
Sam: Not any more though?
Black: Oh, we still get along, I guess, though we aren't working together right now.
Sam: Do you know where he is?
Black: No.. Because I'm not looking. I'm respecting his choice.
Sam: uuhhhh, his choice?
Black: He chose to go his own way. So, I let him.
Sam: Then are you-
Black: Listen, I have a different boss than he does.. Most likely. So we are not working together, not for right now, maybe not ever again. Though I would like to see him again. He's like a brother to me.
Sam: It's gotta be rough losing someone that close to you.
Black: it is.... But I'm a professional. I always move on an recover. You'll be like that too one day.
Sam: Huh, I doubt it.
Black: Don't sell yourself short kid-
[The audio cuts out to static. The recording seems to end]

*********

FACTION:
Firefly

SKILLS:
-Perfect Liar.
-Master of disguise.
-Master of most forms of hand to hand combat, except Judo, Judo is for pussies.
-Excellent marksman.
-Proficient hacker.
-Highly persuasive.
-Great at improvisation.
-Works in perfect sync with Mr. White.
-Tantric sex.
-Interrogation.
-Olympic sprinter. Allegedly.
-Holding his alcohol.
-Making and setting explosives.
-Captain Pipe Bomb, official title.
-Grandmaster of the sword-chucks.

WEAKNESSES:
-Pathological Liar
-Big ass spiders
-Believes his own lies.
-Is often very sarcastic.
-Doesn't know Judo.
-Can't drink enough Poweraid.
-Refers to people of darker skin colors as "Brown fellas."
-Delusional.
-Can be highly aggressive for no reason.
-Can be highly passive for no reason.
-Sexy girlies.
-Angler fish.
-Pop culture.

COLOURS:
English   Russian   Arabic   Chinese (Mandarin)   Japanese

TRIVIA:

- Knows that 9/11 was an inside job
- Claims to have fathered himself
- Doesn't believe in ghosts
- Punched out Sadam hussain for being quote" An uppity bitch."
- Is believed to be the paramour to the Princess of of a small African country.
- Mr. White and Mr. Black have only worked against each other once... They are still making up for the first Gulf war.
- Joined the North Korean Army to quote: "See what all the hype was."
- Was the REAL second shooter on the grassy knoll.
- Put an end to the mole people conspiracy by going in the subway tunnels and returning with the head of their king. Allegedly.
- Has demon proof skin. Allegedly.
- When questioned about the nature of his work he responded with, quote: "Have you ever seen starsky and Hutch? yeah? Well, it's like that but ix it with Lost, Alias, The Simpsons, Stargate SG-1, and Leathal Weapon 3. Only with more sitting around doing nothing."
- Claims the title Grand Galactic Inquisitor.
- Has banged: Cher, Amy Lee, Emma Stone, Lucy Lu, and Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi
- Is wicked man pretty.
- Taught Mike Tyson how to throw a hook. Allegedly.
- Favorite Food *REDACTED*
- Favorite music *REDACTED*
- Favorite color *REDACTED*
- Favorite type of woman *REDACTED*
- Favorite drink scotch.
- Likes to wear an eye patch to quote: "Give the poor devils a chance."
- Is too sexy for his shirt.
- Found Waldo
- Thinks contact lenses are evil.
- Has made sweet love to the Lady of the Lake. Allegedly.
- Graduated from the School of Hard Knocks, with high honors.
- Always gets the job done.
- Is the Nightbringer. Allegedly.
- Was Deepthroat. Allegedly.
- Always calls dibs on bad cop.
- Owns a golden fiddle, claims to have won from the Devil.
- Thinks penguins are quote: "Hella tight bro!"
- Is known in Japan as the Ogre of Fear.
- Once dyed his skin. He changed it back after it got itchy.
- Grappled a giant squid. Allegedly.
- Is the real Macoy.
- Knows exactly where in the world Matt Lauer is.
- Can see the future. Allegedly.
- Has never lost a staring contest.
- Drank the sea, which one is still unclear.
- When asked about the Alias of Agent Mulder he was quoted saying, "I want to believe."
- Got Charlie Sheen hooked on cocaine.
- Got Charlie off cocaine when he saw that he was winning too much.
- The entire James Bond series is based off a single weekend following Mr. Black. the story was broken up into many books and movies to make it seem more realistic.
- 8 is his least favorite number.
- Ma or may not be the Dragonborn.
- Has a seventh sense about heretics, his sixth sense is feeling when squirrels are afraid.
- Marks race as: Other, Badass.
- Is sterile. Allegedly.
- Died once, beat death at chess and he let him go. Allegedly.
- There is only one recorded document of an interview with Mr. Black. All other accounts are just rumors.
- Is keeping Fidel Castro alive.
- May be Scottish royalty. Is still waiting for the one true king.
- Is an honorary Rider of Rohan.
- Has possession of the Arc of the Covenant, quote: "Keeping it away from those damned Nazis."
- Is the first Level two Civ on site.
- Can see through the fourth wall, Yes, I'm talking to you Al.
- Has his own Trivial Pursuit game theme. The game is classified.
- Can see in SONAR. Allegedly.
- Kicked the Moon.
- Black and White have a combined kill count higher than every Templar combined.
- Always sticks it to The Man, always.
- Is waiting on the immortality project to come through.
- Quote: "I really wanna get some hot alien sex going on. It's 20*REDACTED* why don't we have hot aliens yet?"
- Is bringing zeppelins back. Yep, those other balloon ships don't know how to act.
- Had a short run in porn. As a director.
- Has named everything he can.
- Has huge a black............................. market connection.
- Thinks the Italians ruined just about everything they touched.
- Loves Asian *REDACTED*
- Let the dogs out. Allegedly.


All level 2 changes are in RED

*********

USER DETAILS

ALIAS:
DREAD

OTHER CHARACTERS:
Sister Vetrov Cephalopod Dave

ROLEPLAY HISTORY:
1,000,000,000,000,000 weeks

FACECLAIM:

Code:

[b]Resident Evil[/b] :: [b]Leon Scott Kennedy[/b]

CUSTOM RANK:
Intergalactic Super Inquisitor

[Alice the Chopper]

Approved!

- Let the dogs out. Allegedly.

Bastard.

[Mr. Black]

This is ready. Added to personality, history and trivia. It's the stuff in red.

[Alice the Chopper]

Approved!

Level up! That was quick...

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