Cruel and Unusual? (Reverend/Lisa/Closed)

[Jerome Fontaine]

5:06 PM
22nd January, 2012
The Smith Residence
Somewhere in Virginia

Jerome kept staring at himself in the vanity mirror in the unknown bedroom he found himself in. His neck was bandaged as well as his minor injuries suffered at the hands of...he couldn't really remember what he did to get himself in this condition. It was very hazy and painful, he knew, but other than that, nothing came to mind. He got off the full bed, letting the blanket fall off his shoulders. His pants were still on, thankfully, but his shirt and trench coat had yet to be seen. Did they get ripped to shreds, or was he in a pervert's house? He examined his damaged chest, which beside for the bandages and bruises, was still well defined, so he hadn't been out long. He walked to the room's door and opened it, revealing the opposite wall to a very expansive corridor. There were a few doors beside his in this wooden corridor, a very nice looking corridor at that. Then his nose got caught on something in the air. It smelled heavenly, definitely the smell of cooking food. As he let his nose guide him, he started to notice photographs hanging from the walls. One looked like a portrait and he stopped to examine it. He moved his messed, untied hair back as he looked through a thin layer of dust to the picture behind it. 

Then he saw the man of the house. The big Wel-...Dutchman from the multiplex. The Reverend. These pictures could only mean one thing...this was the man's home. Things began to come back: the cut from Jinhong, him yelling at the Templars, him running off, him passing out...and instead of a prison hospital, Smith had brought Jerome to his own home? This man was strange...but then he remembered back to what he actually said and did...upon retrospect, he was a nice dude. Sure, he was a bit...strange, but nice. He really was just doing his job, it didn't look like he wanted to take them in anyway. But he did get one: Jerome. So what was his game? Could Jerome trust him? ...Only way was to find out.

But that was not really the forefront of his mind, what WAS was the smell from down the hall. He started his way towards it again, going downstairs into a kitchen of sorts. He didn't realize his glasses weren't on till he walked in and tried to get a good look at the cook, but it WAS a woman. That was obvious. He stood there, leaning in the doorway, and piped up to her, "Excuse me, miss....how'd I get here?"

[Agent Lisa]

Her stomach grumbled with dull hunger.  Lunch time was soon and Adrianus was off at school for the day.  The house was oddly empty with mother on a trip to the spa with her neighborhood friends. Apparently she didn't trust her husband enough to be alone in the house, because Lisa had gotten a call a few days prior that she needed to come home and house-sit for a while.  When she returned, they would have a family outing.  It really made Lisa wonder why her mother ever left if she wouldn't  trust two men in the house, but- she could kind of see the mistrust in Lisa and Adrianus' father, after the last time..

Explosions played in her mind and Lisa shivered.  Yes, that would explain a lot.  Her body moved off the couch and away from the book she was reading (The Dutch version of The Phantom of the Opera; hardbound).  Really there was only her and her father there for lunch, but her father had rushed in with something and fled to the upstairs.  Probably one of his strange tenancies she really didn't wish to know about.

"Da!  I'm starting lunch."  she shouted up the stairs and made her way the stove. The stereo flipped on with her touch and some upbeat music turned on.  Lisa naturally began to sing to the beat, completely as if no one were around, since normally no one was.  Besides, her father usually just joined in half the time or picked on her for acting like a child.  Not like Lisa cared, hell she COOKED the food.  So she was in no way a child.  Her eyes closed a moment and hummed to the beat, while she stirred the contents with gusto.

Footsteps were foreign to her.  She hadn't noticed them until a voice reached her ears.  Suddenly her cheeks flushed.  That was not her father.  She cleared her throat and adverted her eyes.  "Excuse me, miss... how'd I get here?"

Lisa was a bit stunned and slow in response. "Uhmm- my father didn't bring you?"  Now she sounded stupid, but really could it be that bad?  Yes.  It did.  She cleared her voice and dusted her lap off.  "I- uhmm mean..   I actually have no idea.  You'll have to ask Da."  She took her spoon and swirled it in a pan.  "Well.. no matter.  Hallo, I'm Lisa and welcome."  Her eyes closed while her lips curved into a gentle smiles.  

"Now.  Are you hungry? I made plenty to spare."  Her dutch wormed its way in every sentence but by bit.

[Reverend Smith]

It was quite a drive from DC; all the way to his home in Virginia, an unconscious teen in the sidecar of his bike. Certainly couldn't have looked too normal. Nonetheless, he got him home, and got him into the guest room. It was a quiet day; Ashley was out of town, at some spa, and Adrianus VIII, his son, was at school. And, to be honest, he'd kinda forgotten Lisa was supposed to be over today... So he blew the dust off his old 12" collection, with a grin, reaching for an old 1991 hit. Ah, Right Said Fred. MEMORIES. Little Lisa was only four years old then, and it had been his and Ashley's anniversary. He still remembered it clearly, dancing to this song aboard a cruise ship near Portugal, both laughing with joyful glee. GLEE, I TELL YOU, GLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

With a grin, he set the black disc down on the player, carefully pulling the needle down to it, and setting it at about 45 rpm. Putting on a pair of shades, to look cool in, he clicked the button, letting it play, as he began dancing. And what record would be playing, you may ask?

"I'm. Too sexy for my love~ Too sexy for my love, love's going to leeeeaaaave me~ I'm. Too sexy for my shirt~ Too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it huuuuurts!~" Yep. That one. And to only make matters worse, as he danced and sang along to the record, which resounded quite a bit through the house, as of now, he didn't notice something odd, as he'd been napping briefly, from the time he got home to just a few minutes ago. What is it, you may inquire? Well... He wasn't wearing pants. Or, QUITE IRONICALLY, a shirt. No, he was wearing socks, shades, and a pair of ancient Superman boxers.

Ignorant to the voices in the kitchen, he danced his way there, still singing, in his underwear, dancing backwards into the room. "I am a moooooodel, you know what I MEAN!~ When I do my little turn on the catwalk~" Eyes closed, he unfortunately didn't see his daughter and his guest as he spun around. "Yeah, on the catwalk~" And repeated. "Yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk~" HAHA! Good thing nobody was around to see him do exactly that; that would be quite embarrassing, most like- And about that time, he turned around and saw Lisa and Jerome.

Giving a sheepish grin, he removed the shades and put on a pair of his normal glasses. "OH! Hallo Lis, forgot you were here, hahaha!~ And Jerome, hallo as well, you had a nice rest, ja? Have to talk with you in private sometime, but not now, kay?" Sniffing, he smelled food cooking and grinned. "Ah yes, you're cooking tonight, right Lisa? What's the meal of the day for today?~" Aaaaand he still hadn't noticed how little he was wearing. Silly Rev. So silly.

[Jerome Fontaine]

Jerome, he surmised, had flustered the girl. Now, in other circumstances, he'd grin and flirt and pet, the whole she-bang, but in a strange land of strange people, you tend to act strange. He almost jumped when he heard the static of a record player spring to life an old 90s song he hadn't heard in quite some time. But as his eyes returned to the woman, he wished he could know what she looked like. Without glasses, he could barely see 2 feet in front of his face, let alone read facial expression, or even a face, from across a room. But she sounded nice, though foreign...but...the Reverend was Dutch, right? It only made sense for her to be Dutch too. Yay, detective games.

Her name was Lisa...a nice name for a fuzzy blur. She was being very nice to him, offering him dinner even though she hadn't known he was here. But, wouldn't it be rude to refuse. Only after a few seconds, it became clear he couldn't after his stomach let out an almost monstrous growl. "Nice to meet you...I'm Jerome and yeeees, I'd love some food, I'm starving...I mean, I don't wanna impose" He really didn't too, especially with that crazy priest running around.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, here he came now. Bustin' a groove into the kitchen in some boxers, socks, and shades...to Jerome, of course, it was just a large mass of dancing, colorful cotton, but it still freaked him out a bit. He almost cringed as he came in, fearing that the shaking mass was going to kill him...but it remained in its dancing way as it sang and spun, then noticed the two. He said he needed to talk to Jerome in private at some point...but why? About what, he didn't know. Was he going to kill him? No...not with his daughter home...or did she have a hand in this too? Or was Jerome still so kooked out from the blood loss that he was overthinking it? He didn't know, but he felt very light-headed so he sat down quick, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "Right, Reverend...I hope I'm not imposing, you could've just left me there y'know."

[Agent Lisa]

"Nice to meet you...I'm Jerome and yeeees, I'd love some food, I'm starving...I mean, I don't wanna impose"  Lisa smiled at him and shook her head.  "It's not a problem, Jerome."  As she looked at him, she realized he looked pretty beat up, like he' been in a huge fight.  However just as she went to ask, her father came barging in with shades, socks and a pair of tattered old boxers.  His voice carried the tune, but Lisa could only hear the sound of her own frustration.


Her face was a ripe tomato, when she finally spoke.  She chided him gently in Dutch, with her eyes closed.  "Da! At least be decent enough to put on pants!   We've company! (And I really don't like the sight of my father half naked)."  Talk about embarrassing!  With her fingers on her nose, she sighed heavily.  She returned to cooking as the two talked.  Obviously Jerome was one of her father's friends(?) because they had something to talk about.  Lisa was a bit concerned.  Jerome was a young man who seemed to be half her father's age, but who was she to judge why this beat up young man was in their house?  It just- didn't look good.  


"As for what I'm cooking, I decided to do a sort of brunch.  I'm making some bread, eggs and ham.  Also we had some strawberries left over from Mom's shortcake so I decided to make some Poffertjes and slice up the strawberries to put on top and topped with whipped cream."  She paused and laughed softly.  "I slept through breakfast." 


After she flipped something in a pan, she rummaged through the cupboards and grabbed three plates and some cups, then handed them to her father.  "Father you don't mind setting the table to you?  I'd hate for the eggs to burn."  She smiled at Jerome, then blinked a bit.  "..Where are your glasses at?"  She of course didn't know he actually wore glasses, but assumed so since he was squinting pretty hard.  "Or- is there an injury on your head?"  She seemed worried.  "What exactly did you do, da?"  Of course she was out of the loop...  But that usually happened because she wasn't exactly clued in like other Smiths and refused to believe in demons.  For a moment, she fished in the silverware drawer, then placed the bundle of silverware on the counter so she could check on the bread.

[Reverend Smith]

It was at this time that the good Reverend finally realized his blunder, blinking as Lisa spoke, in a quite embarrassed tone. Laughing it off, he grinned. "Oh yeah! Knew I forgot something, haha! Sorry, just woke up from a nap, Lisa~" He then turned to head off to his room, properly clothing himself before returning to the kitchen. "Now then~ Jerome, this is my daughter Lisa. Lisa, this is Jerome, he'll be staying here for a bit. Long story, will tell you about it later." And indeed it was a pretty long story, and he would have to figure out some way to make it all make a lot more sense than it already did, without Lisa having to know anything about possible kidnapping, nearly killing, or at least maiming, the lad's friends, and the whole thing about raiding a den of demons with a posse of similarly minded Templars; which she didn't really believe in...

Hearing what she was making for lunch was enough to get Rev's stomach growling slightly, enticed by the prospect of so much delicious food. "Hahaha~ You are your mother's daughter. Don't think I could ever go hungry with two chefs in the house." Hmmm... Perhaps he could add his own nice touch to dinner? He grinned a playful grin. "And of course, I can make dessert!~" That said, he went to retrieve a pie tin and all the proper ingredients for a homemade apple pie, going about making it, as he continued talking. A bit into his pie-making, Lisa asked him to set the table, which he did, before returning to his pie-making.

Though the question as to where Jerome's glasses were piqued his interest once more, blinking as he pondered the question himself, before reaching into his pocket, handing the lad a pair of eyeglasses. "Here you are! I think these are yours anyways. Were on the ground, you must've lost them back at the multiplex when you passed out." WELL THEN. That certainly told a bit, though it was still a rather nasty cliff-hanger. Expecting the obviously expected, he wasn't quite surprised when Lisa, with a tone of concern, asked what he'd done. He gave a light chuckle, and went about explaining the whole situation- or rather, an altered explanation. "Well, you see, Jerome here is the grandson of a family friend, Reno Fontaine." Impressive that he knew that; Reno and his own father had once worked together, in their youth. So many stories, he possibly knew more about the man than Jerome did. "So I was visiting, only to find out he didn't live there anymore; Jerome did, however. Ran into some bad people, though, some street gang; they torched the apartment complex, and Jerome suffered a bad spot of smoke inhalation on the stairwell; fell down three flights, he did. Wasn't fun." Was it bad to be able to tell such a blatant, yet thoroughly deceptive, lie to one's own child? Perhaps. But it was far better than the truth, in this instance. As he spoke, he glanced discreetly to Jerome, as if to say "Play along."

And as madmen are wont to do, he then somewhat abruptly changed subjects, as he put the apple pie in the oven. "Hmmm... I can't think of a better day than today, with you here, Lis, and Jerome, as my guest, to have a nice glass of wine, eh?" Wine was indeed classy; as was using an offer of wine to douse suspicion as to his somewhat shady explanation. A life shrouded in secrecy was a difficult one, truly.

[Jerome Fontaine]

It seems the good Reverend had finally been made aware of his lack of clothing. He'd been napping, so it's possible he could've been scatterbrained, but there was yet to be one person Jerome knew that forgot clothing after sleep. After he came back, he got introductions out the way just as Jerome's stomach growled furiously at the mention of all that delicious food. He could feel himself drool, but wiped it from his lip before it got bad. Jerome started to wake up more and more with the smell of food and as he woke up, he became more aware of the pain he was experiencing. He hissed as he grabbed his neck. The bandage began to get warm; a sign of an open wound.

"Hahaha~ You are your mother's daughter. Don't think I could ever go hungry with two chefs in the house." Jerome felt a bit of envy rise up, he barely had enough cooking skill to provide anything for himself, which put quite a bit of money to eating out and delivery. He remembered when his girlfriend Danielle would stay over and in the morning, cook a delicious breakfast. Then he pushed any memory of the woman out of his head, but it did make him miss having a feminine touch around. It made him look a little more intently at Lisa, how she moved around the kitchen with such precision. Then she piped up, but he could only see a fuzzy circle open and close with her words. "..Where are your glasses at?" Now there was a good question. Jerome hadn't seen them since he woke up....and if he wished to see he'd have to find them. But, there was one thing he learned. Lisa didn't know what happened to Jerome, so she probably didn't know about the whole situation entirely. Which meant to keep her out of the loop for now.

Silver-framed glasses hit his hand. The Reverend had them on him appearantly. "Here you are! I think these are yours anyways. Were on the ground, you must've lost them back at the multiplex when you passed out." Well...so much for secrets, he thought as he slid the glasse over his ears and widened his eyes as they adjusted. His eyes that were settled on Lisa had a tinge of red underneath them. She was...wow. Utter wow. Short black hair, charming face, beautiful eyes. Jerome had always admired clients, but this felt different. Probably because he knew he wasn't getting paid.  His gaze broke in realization as he looked over to the Reverend, who began to explain that...they had connections. Ol' Gramps Reno knew these people? They got along? Well, he knew his families had past with the Templars, but who knew it was that close. Then he proceeded to spin his yarn.

"So I was visiting, only to find out he didn't live there anymore; Jerome did, however. Ran into some bad people, though, some street gang; they torched the apartment complex, and Jerome suffered a bad spot of smoke inhalation on the stairwell; fell down three flights, he did. Wasn't fun." Jerome saw the look Rev flashed him and he understood completely. Jerome started rubbing his head bandage, thinking of something to say. "Yeah, I had got into a fight with one of their crew...they didn't take kindly to it and gave me a visit. Beat me down, cut my neck, burnt my house down....everything's gone" Jerome really did seem torn up about it, but that's what happens when you learn to lie.

Then wine was offered. Jerome nodded eagerly but that was definitely a bad idea as his head started to throb. He rubbed his temples  slowly, grimacing at the pain. He wasn't gonna go back to sleep, so he might as well deal with it. The company was appreciated though. "Heavenly, Reverend. I need something to calm my nerves, and that wine and delicious breakfast should do the trick."

[Agent Lisa]

"So I was visiting, only to find out he didn't live there anymore; Jerome did, however. Ran into some bad people, though, some street gang; they torched the apartment complex, and Jerome suffered a bad spot of smoke inhalation on the stairwell; fell down three flights, he did. Wasn't fun."


"Yeah, I had got into a fight with one of their crew...they didn't take kindly to it and gave me a visit. Beat me down, cut my neck, burnt my house down....everything's gone" 



Lisa paused from cooking and just looked with utter shock.  Some people were so inconsiderate!  Her worry-rimmed eyes were focused once more upon Jerome.  Concern for her new-found friend was obvious in her dark eyes.  "Good heavens are you sure you're alright?"  


she walked over and decided to examine him herself. From what she could tell he was mostly fine, except his neck was bleeding... which wasn't good.  She frowned and placed the spatula away from her.  "You're bleeding," she stated as if it were news.  "After we eat may I redo your bandages?"  After his response (hopefully yes) she fished the food out and began to set them on the table. 


Apple pie... Now Lisa was drooling.  Her sweet tooth ached with want and it wasn't even done!  However the sugar.. it made her drool a bit.. indiscreetly, because a lady does not drool!  She wiped her chin and yet watched her father make the yummy pie with gusto.  She would eat it all.... or most of it.  She'd TRY to share, but Lisa had an incurable sweet tooth which.. made things kinda hard to resist.  


Her father brought out the wine and the meal was ready.  Lisa would try not to indulge but with all the sweet stuff ready and the bread simply sending wonderful scents her way.  Some honey on it would be amazing!  Once all the food had been placed on the table, she found a seat at the table and waited for the others to grab the food.  at the moment she was too focused on her empty stomach to think about much else.

[Reverend Smith]

Ah, goodie! Jerome was, it seems, following along rather well. Played a bit to sympathy too, quite a nice touch. Eh, while he didn't particularly care for lies anyways, Rev knew it was for the best. It had to be done, simply put. Ah, but to see Lisa so worried about the poor lad like that... On the one side, he felt a bit guilty for causing such worry. Wasn't a very nice thing to do, even unintentionally, moreso to his own flesh and blood, but when the situation called for it, it had to be done, no if's, and's, or but's about it. But, on the flipside, it did him a bit of good to see his daughter so compassionate and caring. They'd raised her... SNIFFFFFFFFLEEEE. SO WELL. That, or she was just naturally a good person.

Either way, as she offered to treat his wounds, Rev went about finishing the pie, before reaching into a cabinet to retrieve a rather dusty bottle of Rüdesheimer Apostelwein 1727; a very expensive bottle of the oldest drinkable wine on Earth, poured from its cask in the time of the first Adrianus Smith, and passed down, alongside nineteen other bottles of the wine, to the eldest male of the family. Had a nice smoky flavor, touch of sweet. It would not only do well for the meal, but it would add a touch of class. Reverend Adrianus Smith was, indeed, a classy man, and as such, he should have the classiest of wines!

As he brought the wine to the table, sitting after his daughter and guest were already seated, he smiled cheerily as he placed some eggs and ham onto a slice of bread, before biting into it. "Mrm! Mrmrcmrs~" Giving a lesson as to why one shouldn't try to speak with a mouth full of eggs and ham, he still managed to somewhat note that the food was, indeed, delicious, further emphasized by the fact he continued eating, before remembering that he still needed to pour the wine. Retrieving three glasses (and thankfully remembering to swallow his current mouthful), he filled them each halfway with the liquid. "1727 vintage, this is; pretty nice, eh?"

The brief noting of the age of the very well-fermented wine completed, he took a sip of it himself, savoring the flavor; it was something you simply couldn't experience but very rarely, for most, once in a lifetime, and he was truly fortunate that the bottles he owned were heirlooms of the Smith family. Not to mention it went rather well for Lisa's cooking. Quite a nice meal, indeed.

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